


Me and My Best Friend Play Truth or Drink (Jack and Shitty)

by ICarryDeathOnMyWings



Series: Truth or Drink [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Drinking, F/M, Gen, M/M, Sex Jokes, They're cute, Truth or Drink, talking about lardo and bitty, talking about sex, they're the beset of bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27036424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICarryDeathOnMyWings/pseuds/ICarryDeathOnMyWings
Summary: Jack and Shitty play truth or drink only for them it's truth AND drink
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Larissa "Lardo" Duan/Shitty Knight, Shitty Knight & Jack Zimmermann
Series: Truth or Drink [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971985
Comments: 10
Kudos: 153





	Me and My Best Friend Play Truth or Drink (Jack and Shitty)

**Author's Note:**

> They're my bros and they're so CUTE. Also like, they're talking about sex, obviously.

**Best Friends Play Truth Or Drink (Jack and Shitty)**

“I’m Jack Zimmermann and this is-”

“His best fucking friend Shitty.” 

“His name is Shitty, to clarify.”

Producer: ”How long have you two known each other?” 

“We met freshman year of college-” 

“Samwell men’s hockey team!” 

“So it’s been a long time. I’m old now.” 

“You act like an old man that’s for fucking sure! But you always have.” 

“Thanks, Shits.”

“Not a a fucking problem, brah. Here-” *pours them both a shot* “To being the most open and chill bros for now until the end of time.” *takes a shot*

*takes a shot* “That toast was longer than my captain speeches.”

~~

“How did we become the very best of bros?” 

“We met the first day of hockey, and you were the only one who treated me like a human and not Bob Zimmermann’s son, the ex-junkie. It took a lot of wiggling for you to become apart of my life outside of being on my line. The first time I thought of you really as my friend was when we were in the basement and you were writing all the bylaws behind the boiler.” 

“Ha! I didn’t know it was that early. I swear it was the first time you caught me sleeping naked in your bed.” 

“That was the first time I thought about never talking to you again.” 

“You got used to it?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

~~

“What’s my best physical asset?” 

“Your mustache, hands down. And I wish a little you’d grow your flow out again. That thing was rank.” 

“I miss my flow so fucking muuuuch! Also yours is your as-” 

“My ass. Yes.” 

“For real, have you guys seen it? I mean, that thing is just- Pixar mom ass.” 

“ _What the fuck does that mean?_ ”

~~

“Do you think me and my current partner will last? This is a stupid question.” 

“I don't think there's anyone in the world better suited for you than Eric Richard Bittle."

“It's weird that you just called him that.”

~~

"Would you take a million dollars to never talk to me again?"

"No, absolutely not. Not a chance."

"I would fucking hope not. You make fifteen times that!"

"I would be mad at you for talking about my salary like that but you can do a google search and find it."

"Brah, is that weird for you?"

"No? Because I could do the same thing for my dad."

"And how much did he make? A fucking butt ton I bet!"

"About the same, if we’re making up for inflation.” 

~~

"Have you ever had a crush on anyone that I dated?"

"Fuck yeah! I have the biggest fucking crush on Bits."

"Shits, that- you're straight-"

"I have the biggest fucking platonic crush on our main man Bitty."

~~

"Have you ever disliked someone I dated?"

"In all the time I have known you, you held out for one woman and one woman only. And I adore her. So no, I've liked all the one of them. What about me?” 

“Nah, all your dates have been sensible.” 

“Sensible. That’s the best you can come up with?” 

“None of them other than Bitty were Bitty, can’t compare apples to oranges.” 

~~

"If you had to eat one part of my body, which would it be and why?"

"Jackabelle-"

"I think everyone knows where this is going-"

"It would be your ass."

"There it is."

~~

“Have you ever had a crush on me?” 

“A heterosexual one, yes.”

“Not sure that’s how that works, but yeah, okay.” 

“What about you, Jackie?” 

“Sorry, Shits, never have.” 

“Ah, fuck. There go all my hopes and dreams.”

~~

"Finish this line with me: my favorite genre of porn is-"

"You hate porn."

"Porn now is very damaging to people's psyche and can be even worse for women. Aww, Jackie, you know me so well. What's your favorite?"

"Any of the pictures Bitty has allowed me to take of him or he has sent me."

"Do you have a special folder that contains naked pictures of Bits' bits?"

"...no."

~~

"Have you ever caught me masturbating or having sex?"

"Nope. You didn't have sex with Lardo until after we graduated- ...wait. I know that face. Shitty fucking Knight-"

*takes a shot* "It never came up?"

"You never _told me_? You sleep in my bed buck ass naked and you can't even tell me when you and your _wife_ started- whatever you wanted to call it?"

"Hey! I don't have to tell you everything!"

"Yes you do! You made me sign a fucking contract in the first year of our friendship! And as a lawyer you should know that's legally binding!"

"...oh... right... uh, it wasn't long before graduation."

"Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it."

~~

"If I killed someone would you help me hide the body?"

"Yes... well... it depends. On a lot of things. Probably not, actually. I have a family to think about. And you’re a lawyer so it probably wouldn’t be good for you to, you know. Break the law.” 

“Is the only reason you’re against me killing someone is because it’d hurt my career?” 

“Pretty much.” 

~~

“What’s something you’re ashamed to admit to me? Apparently that you were having sex with Lardo for _months_ -” 

“I’m not ashamed of that! I could ever be ashamed of Lards. I don’t… hm. I’m not ashamed of- oh! I had to shave my ‘stache a while back. Had a little bit of a health scare-” 

“I’m- you _what_?” 

“It was nothing. But had to shave it off. Didn’t leave the apartment much.” 

“We’re talking about this later.” 

“Aye, aye, captain.” 

~~

"What would it take for us to have sex?" *takes a shot*

"Very little, brah. Very fucking little. I'd do it right now if we weren't in very loving and committed relationships. And also, I'm straight but that wouldn't stop me from exploring."

"We've already talked about this. His answer isn't surprising in the least."

P: "Have you ever seriously talked about it?"

"No, not seriously. We have kissed though... Shitty kisses everyone on New Year's Eve."

~~

“What’s something you’d change about me?” 

“I think-” 

“Oh god, you’ve gotten all serious, like when you're going to give the frogs a talk on consent. Is there something about me you hate that much?” 

“No! I love everything about you. I think though, that I’d take away your anxiety. You’ve learned to live with it, because you’re a fucking treasure, but I’ve watched you struggle. I don’t- I’d want to take that away from you.” 

“...fuck, Shits. That was- this is supposed to be _funny._ Everyone in hockey is going to think I’m soft.” 

“You’re so fucking soft, Jack. Stop pretending.” 

~~

“Have you ever had a sex dream about me and what happened?” 

“Euh, no? I don’t think so. I’ve had dreams where you were naked but… you’re naked almost all the time so that’s not special or anything. What about you?” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“Cool. Was I any good?” 

“Jack, no doubt in my mind, best dream sex I’ve ever had.” 

~~

"Sit on my lap and stare into my eyes for one minute, if not take a shot. Wait, Shitty does this all the time."

"I'm taking a fucking shot anyway and then I'm sitting in your lap and conveying all of my very heterosexual 'love you' vibes through our eye contact."

"I think I need a shot too."

~~

"Do you love me? If so, say it."

"Brah, Jack, Jackabelle, Jack-in-the-box, Jack Laurent Zimmermann, light of my life, I love you with every single fiber of my being. There is not a part of me, from my fucking flow to my toes that isn't wholly in love with you."

"I think you put this card in here to make people sort of uncomfortable but Shitty texts me 'good morning, I love you' every day.

"I also text him goodnight!"

"Ah, did you have to kiss me cheek? Your breath smells awful and there's something in your mustache."

"I am offended, that you would deny my love over something so trivial as mustache ornaments." .

"It's lint."

P: ”Jack, do you love him?” 

“I wouldn’t… I wouldn't be here without him. Of course I love him.” 

“I never knew you cared so much, Jack-a-doodle-doo.” 

“More than care, Shits. I love you very much. No- wait _stop crying_.”


End file.
